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Tuesday, November 12, 2013

When did it change?

With the holiday seasons coming, my heart has started to feel overwhelmed.  I love the Holidays! I love being with family and celebrating together what matters most.  I just don't like the stress of getting there.  Let me back up.

Growing up, we were blessed to have the necessities, and that's about it.  As I look back, I never felt like I really went without. I had great friends, I was healthy,  I had a warm bed, loving parents and supportive siblings and that was great!   I learned early, that if I wanted something, I worked for it.  I had babysitting jobs from when I was 12, and a "real job" with a paycheck when I was 15.  I bought my own school clothes, paid for my gas to get wherever I wanted to go, and paid for anything extra I wanted to do.  Along with many other things, I learned the value of work that maybe I could've only learned this way.

Our Christmas' were humble, we had a tree and some years we had presents to unwrap.  I'm not going to lie, the years we didn't have presents were sometimes hard to go to school and try and avoid the question, "What did you get for Christmas?"  I remember thinking, instead I am going to say, "Well, I didn't get much, but here's what I gave."  I wanted to be a person who didn't dwell upon the things of what I got, but rather what I did to serve.

I am still working on that.  I never really found a service project, or did anything wonderful...it was a thought I had, and I still dream of acting upon it.  Procrastination, yep, a great trait I have!  But I did try and be a little nicer to others, and look for people who may have needed a smile, compliment, hug, or just a friend to listen to them.

I am not trying to toot my own horn, that wasn't my point.  But I guess what I am trying to say, is that I learned to not dwell upon what I didn't have, but be grateful for what I do have.

A few years later, I married into a family who is crazy good at gifting!  Like, putting Santa to shame, good!  My mother in law is the most charitable woman who would give you her coat of her back, and she actually has done that for me!  I love his family! They have some fabulous traditions and I have learned a ton from them and have fun being a part of their family.

However, because I have been introduced to this new Holiday Season lifestyle, I get really overwhelmed.  Not because what they do is overwhelming, cause they are great at holding their own.  I am just still trying to find balance...because if  you know me, I am sort of an over achiever.  I don't like doing things half way.

Recently, we've been facing some challenges, which has put a damper on my over-acheiveness (if that can be a word for a minute.)  I have been a little bummed out about the things I can't get for my kids. BUT today I got a little slap in the face.  And I loved it.  I thought I would share because in all honesty, I just want to write it down.

Today I was reading about Abinadi, who was a prophet in The Book of Mormon, who was one of the last righteous men in his little town.  The Lord told him he needed to go and tell the people, especially the idolatrous priests and king to repent.  The kingdom had become very prideful and forgot God.  God wanted them to repent so they wouldn't destroy what He had given them.  Unfortunately, they didn't yet and Abinadi was sentenced to death...but what hit me was how he was describing the pride.

Again, on Sunday, we had lesson 21 in the Lorenzo Snow book, which was basically teaching, Be in the world, not of the world.  You'd think I should've caught some hints awhile ago, but I didn't, and I am sure I still am missing out on a lot.  But what I did gather is that pride in worldly possessions, is a sin.

Anyway, if I can make this any longer, I was just watching a show from the early cartoon years (probably like when cartoons first came out) with Ryker and Brinly about Christmas and one of the little clips was about these two little poor kids, who had one set of pajamas and one set of clothing.  No shoes, holes in their blankets and bedding, and a candle to light their home.  They were put to bed and then it showed their dream.  They dreamed of clothing on trees and as much food as they could probably imagine.  Then they woke up and the town had come together to bless this little family with food and a warm home.  The kids were THRILLED and jumped out of bed and ran to the table to eat until their heart was content.

It made my heart sink as I thought about how prideful our nation has become.  How prideful I have become!  As a mom, I want my children to have everything they could dream of.  I keep saying to myself, "When Trevor gets a good job...blah blah blah" but lets be honest, if I don't fix my desire to have everything, I will end up with nothing.  I will have lost what is most important.  I can count my blessings and be grateful for what I really do have, appreciate what I have so that one day, I won't have to have a rude wake up call.  Like the famous saying, "You don't really appreciate what you do have, until you have lost it."

With the natural disasters, families losing their homes and loved ones, it has really made my head spin on how blessed I am!  I do have so many, many blessings that right now, a lot of people do not.  I have a warm house, money to pay my bills, unconditional love from my kids, husband and family members, I have healthy children, I have never felt the ache of infertility or loss of a child.  I have a garage, a dishwasher, washer and dryer, plenty of food, running clean water, an eternal perspective on life, and much more that will take me years to list.

Back to the punch line, when did Christmas become so commercialized? When did we start to feel our child(ren) needed to have more than the next kid?  That they needed to have a million toys to entertain them?  Yes, some are great, but what did kids play with 50 years ago? I am thankful for advancements and the ability to learn, but I'm just really feeling like we missed out on the simple life. The simplicity to have 5 shirts and 1 pair of shoes, and maybe a pair of pants if we were feminist. When did our society change?  I want to take a time machine and go take notes on living in a simpler time...then pair them with modern medicine and live there!

Anyway, I'm done. I'm working on pride, and gratitude.  Thats it. ;)

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

First Time

I know I've been M.I.A.  I bet most of you thought I was done for.  But honestly, I have about 3 posts half written, waiting for me to finish.  To that later...

Tonight was so special that I HAD to make time,  I had to write it, even though I'm tired and I have a big day tomorrow.  Ryker said his prayer ALL BY HIMSELF!!  This is big!!

We have been saying prayers with Ryker forever, like 3 years forever.  He is the cutest, shyest (when he doesn't know you), sweetest, most timid little boy.  Obviously, I love him, and I may be a little over the top on helping him to do things.  Lately, we have been "helping each other" say prayers, and tonight he helped me say it, with me repeating him instead of him repeating me.

Here it is:

"Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for today. For all of our blessings.  Thank you for our pumpkins. And Grandma Great and Papa Great. (melt my heart!!)  Thank you for Daddy that he can go to school.  And for mommy, and Brinly and Ryker.  Thank you for Jesus.  Please bless us that we can sleep good.  We love you.  Say these things, in the name, of Jesus Christ. Amen."

Maybe thats a little too personal.  But I had my computer here, and just wanted to write it before I forgot.

That little boy is my world!  He teaches me so much...I didn't realize I knew so little about love, patience, and patience...and love.  :)  What a gem!

Good night world.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Fall, its here!!

Everytime I write on my blog, I feel like I need to apologize, like with my journal.  I admit, I'm horrible and taking time to write.  But to be fair, we have had a BUSY busy summer with lots of hiking, camping, exploring and traveling.  It started when the good weather happened, and has been winding down since school started again.

Trevor had a GLORIOUS 8 1/2 months off of school.  It was beautiful! He worked at the complex that we lived at and so I saw him all day long and then when he was home, he was actually home!  No homework, no tests to study for, and did I mention, NO HOMEWORK?! I am sure he loved it just as much as we did.  We made sure to take advantage of what seemed like our last summer before life happens!

We went camping to Green River, hiked Arches, visited St. George and hiked around Zion's National Park, played at Downata, celebrated the 4th of July, Trevor and Ryker had a fun Father/Son campout, camped in Logan Canyon and flash mobbed a nearby wedding (yes, for real and I didn't feel one bit bad about it), celebrated the 24th of July (for the first time in years and years), went to Hoogle Zoo, This is the Place, played at the park, had Sunday dinner's with the BFF, and had tons of play dates. We were busy up until we moved.

Thats right, add in trying to de-clutter again so we didn't have to haul a junk load again.  Our summer was fabulous and we loved it!  I was super sad to move out of Spanish Fork.  It was such a fun town, close to great shopping, my bestie, and attractions, and I would move back in a heartbeat if Trevor was offered a job there.  It was just the small town feel with everything close by!  My kind of thing.

We moved to the greatest city, another small town feel with lots and lots to do! I am further from Ikea, which is a money saver and a bummer all in one.  I LOVE where we live! We have a nice old neighborhood, meaning BIG trees with lots and lots of shade! We have a garage (YAY!!!), a back patio for grilling and letting the kids out, but not out of sight, lots of grass (BIG YAY) and 5 fun playgrounds within walking distance.  The aquatic center is around the corner along with the zoo and fairgrounds down the street.  We are in what I think is the best part of town and I am so happy here! My kitchen has more than 5 cupboards and we have 4 bedrooms to stretch out it.  It is glorious!

Now we are back to the student life again and its a bit of an adjustment.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Pickling Grown Ups.

Holy Smokes ya'll!

We have had a lot of big grown up decisions to make lately and I feel like I am a freshly picked cucumber! (Not cool as a cucumber. You know..the small ones who get yanked out where they are growing well, and get sent off to be put in a jar full of stinky vinegar?!)

Trevor had applied at 3 different graduate programs, one in San Diego! HELLO!!! one is Dallas! Wahoooo! and Logan. yaaaay (insert monotone voice). Well, Trevor got accepted to Utah State for his Master's program! Now I am not complaining, but when thinking your life would be warmed up by beautiful sunny days year round, and then a dose of frozen tundra land is the one that gets offered, we were like, "Ok? Thank you for atleast letting there be an offer!"

THEN...Dallas sent a letter of acceptance! WHAAAAT?! YES PLEASE! I think both of us were excited at the thought of leaving winters behind, welcoming heat waves (not snowstorms) and year round warmth!  Especially in a city with LOTS of things to do and see!  We both really thought "OK!!! we're moving to DALLAS! WOOT WOOT!"

We told USU what we were thinking, and when we finally made the Dallas decision, something felt wrong.  (Insert screaming and kicking toddler tantrums).  Both of our heads were spinning because we knew our minds were like, "Hello?! This is a NO BRAINER!" but our hearts were saying, "Remember how much you love being in the snow 9 months out of the year?" :)

Lucky for me, I believe in a loving Heavenly Father!  I believe that I can turn to Him in prayer and when I am in a bind, I can find clarity and peace.  Thank goodness because sometimes I don't know it all! Surprise Surprise! BUT I know that Heavenly Father knows where we are needed.  Where we can develop our talents and strengthen out weaknesses.

We took it to the White House! It was SO nice to hang up my cares at the door! I felt so much peace! I KNEW the answer and as I still battle my mind, I have a reassurance of what I felt was real!  That Heavenly Father wanted us to not be in Dallas. Not yet anyway.

Trevor also had 2 internships in the wings, one in St. George and one in Colorado.  This would mean that we would be moving in 2-3 weeks, live somewhere for 3 months, and then move AGAIN! That is moving 3 times in 8 months! We finally decided that Trevor should probably withdraw from the summer internships because moving for very little pay, with 2 toddlers and sleep deprived mama, probably was just asking for a nervous breakdown. Plus, it didn't feel right.

As for the other "Big" decisions...they seem pretty minute now. I know that all things will come together in their own timing.  I've never been let down yet! I know I have a lot to still learn, a lot of pressure and changing to be what my Maker needs me to be.

Well, Here's to "Being Pickled!"






Monday, April 15, 2013

Birthday Party & Easter

Because we live farther away from family, we decided to celebrate the kids birthdays together in Idaho.  It was definitely a busy weekend! We loved getting to celebrate with family.  Here are some quick snapshots of the celebrations.  


Ryker's Thomas cake.
Blowing out his "3" candle.  Thank goodness for grammy to help!





Brinly's "CupCake" cake.

She LOVED it!!


She loved smushing it between her fingers and smearing it on the tray.

My messy girl.







Since we were there on Easter weekend, we got to celebrate Easter in Idaho!  We went to Community Park and did the Easter egg hunt.  I loved how they organized it, but DANG! Those parents are nuts! It was like watching Gladiator with blood thirsty parents!  Ryker was in the 3-5 year group and those eggs were picked up in like 2 minutes!  The older kids grabbed like 20 eggs each, and then there was Ryker.  He was just stunned.  When he first saw all the eggs all over he said, "What a mess! Let's clean it up!" :) He did manage to get 3 eggs, and in one of them he scored a golden ticket.  So he got to pick out a big prize.




He was pretty excited about this new bike!



I made Brinly's dress and Ryker's tie...however, because of their wiggly nature, this was about the best picture I got.
Obviously, I am not a photographer! :)


Our Easter Family.  My kiddies look so grown up its scary!


 We enjoyed our time back in Idaho and I'm really glad we could spend some time with our families.  I miss being so close to them!



Wednesday, March 20, 2013

11 Months and 3 years!!

That's right folks, Little Miss is 11 months old!! I can't believe I have two toddlers!! I know shes still a baby, but don't tell her that! From her first movements in my tummy, I knew she was a busy girl!  I feel sure that she loves being alive and loves doing and being.

She has mastered the crawl.  Yay! It is fun to see her explore the house, the cupboards, the corners and although I think its funny, Ryker doesn't think she needs to be in his room playing with his trains. He also doesn't think she should be climbing up to the couch so he will push her over when I'm not there. 

Brinly is a mama's girl for sure.  She loves to be my accessory and attaches like a baby monkey at my hip.  She is super friendly and smiley as long as I am holding her.  But if I walk into another room, she has a fit.  She loves to pull on my curtains and hide in my shower curtain.  She makes for a great peeping tom while I am showering and just stand at the showers edge and wait for me.

She has 2 bottom teeth.  She has a contagious giggle and LOVES her brother. She will do all she can to reach him.  She loves having her tummy and back scratched.

She likes to eat what I am eating, but unless distracted, won't take 3 bites of her pureed food.  She still isn't a good sleeper and I think with a series of events, she has gotten into some bad sleeping habits that I am currently trying to break. But such is life.  I'll take it over many other trials that I could be facing.


Playing in the dirt. She LOVED it! Her white pants however, did not.
We need to lower her crib.  She thinks because she is a big girl and can pull herself up, she doesn't need to sleep.
Puppy Love. 
This is Lily, a fabulous dog!! She loves Brinly and just let Brin pick on her all weekend.
Someday, if we decide to get a dog, I think a boxer would be my first pick.
 
My kids are growing and growing and there is no stopping them!  Ryker just had his 3rd birthday! WHOA!! He is really funny.  I especially love hearing his toddler thoughts and phrases.  If he sees me in a blanket, which is often, he will come sit by me and say, "Snuggle with me." And climb in my blanket and snuggle down. :) I love it!

Ryker has quite the imagination and I love peeking in on him when he is playing trains.  He is constantly asking his cars, trucks and trains if they need to go potty.  Then he says, "Great Job! Great Job!" haha.  It makes me feel good to see him use positive reinforcement with his toys! :)

He has gotten the pooping thing down, but still dislikes when he is gassy.  If he needs to toot, most of the time he runs and grabs his favorite blankie and will sit on it.  I haven't really figured out why, but his poor blankie gets tooted on a lot.  haha.

Ryker can sing the whole alphabet song, identify all his colors,  letters and numbers up to 10.  We are working on counting in the teens and twenties, but those are a little confusing and  usually sounds something like this, "...eleven, twelve, sixteen, sixty-teen, firteen, twenty-teen, twenty!" haha.  We'll get there. 

He loves to sing and dance!  I will turn on my music to clean and when "Blown Away" by Carrie Underwood comes on, he sings the chorus really loud.   I LOVE it! He likes to help me sweep and mop, do the laundry and make dinner.

I was trying to upload some pics of him, but my blogger is being really ridiculous. 

I just can't believe he is 3!! He is so much fun and I just love my munchkins more and more everyday!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

BUSY BUSY!

We have been super busy the last 5 months.  It seems crazy that we are in 2013 and spring is around the corner!! 

Trevor finished up his last semester and graduated in December. YAY!! Its been SO nice actually having him home when hes home and not doing homework.  I know its short lived but I am really grateful for the extra help!! He got offered a job in Spanish Fork, although not in his field, we are grateful for a job and income!  

I turned 27 and thats great news because for the whole last year I thought I was 27.  So I get to be 27 for 2 years! haha.

We had an exciting holiday season and spent lots of time with family.  I am glad we were so close to family for so long.  It is nice to have grandparents eager to babysit!! I miss that a lot!!!!!

Trevor has applied for grad schools in San Diego, Dallas and Logan.  I'd really like to go somewhere warm!! I trust that wherever we are supposed to be we will be there.  Speaking of, we really felt prompted to be here in Utah...although it was absolutely our last choice.  Sometimes I just have to accept that the Lord has plans for us and we just need to be ok with that.  And honestly, now being here, I understand why.  A big BIG added bonus is that I live 20 minutes away from the bestie.  Its been 9 years since we have actually just got to "Hang Out" and I love it!!

I LOVE not having to work.  Granted I was grateful I had a super easy, stay at home job before...but it makes my day so much better not having to worry about strangers walking into my house.  Funny story, since I have been a SAHM fully, I have more sweatpants and jammies in the laundry than ever before!! I hardly ever see my jeans.  Its been great! I actually want to invest in some more, but Trevor wouldn't like that so much. haha.  

Ryker and Brinly are getting too grown up! Ryker is in that really funny stage where he copies everything we say and do.  He says some of the funniest things!  He is obsessed with trains and monster trucks (still) and will watch documentaries over and over about them. He is also dancing even more than ever and sings a lot! I love hearing him sing.  I would really like to find a group that sings and dances as I think he'd enjoy it.

Brinly is...Brinly.  She is quite a turkey and has started her tantrums early.  I thought having a girl would be easier!  I thought she'd be walking by now, because I guess I just assumed girls matured a lot faster than boys.  But she is pretty in sync with Ryker's milestones when he was her age.  She just barely got her first tooth ON her 9 month mark (which is attributing a lot to her tantrums).      
She loves snuggling with papa! 
Loves these cuties!

I had to put this sequence of pictures in because it is just so funny! This is how they are all day.  They do get along most of the time, but we have our sibling fights often.  Usually because Ryker takes Brinly's toys and hides them.
My cute kids...


Brinly sees Ryker has a box....

Ryker does not want to share..



Brinly reaches
  
She wants it really REALLY bad...and is obviously mad at Ryker for not sharing.

Ryker leaves and we get her 9 month pic.

 Ryker has also been into biting lately...sometimes to be mean, and sometimes just when he gets really excited playing he just sinks his teeth in.  This time, he was playing with Brinly and just sunk his teeth into her tiny tummy.  She was not happy about that at all! Poor girl!


I just love this pic. These 3 boys love each other, and well Ryker is the tag a long cause he's still 2 years younger than them, but he loves being around them!

And I had to add this picture because this
was when Ryker was 9 months...
and I just think him and Brin
 look SO much a like! Haha...its so hard to
 believe he was ever a baby!
Brinly loves playing with Ryker's toys...
especially anything she can put in and take out.
Dump trucks are perfect!






















Well January is almost over.  I am looking forward to February because we have a lot going on!! Hopefully I can be better about updating!